Approaching Church Leadership

I apologize for my silence as of late. I seem to go into cycles of having much to say and then I slip into a time where I want to be quiet and marinate in what I've been hearing and learning. It takes me time to process.

I frequent a blog centered around the subject of emotionally destructive relationships. Leslie Vernick, who has also written several books including:  The Emotionally Destructive Relationship, helps women around the world learn how to see it, how to respond to it, and how to survive if their destructive relationship does not change.

There have been some recent posts (Listed below) that invite bloggers to chime in on the response that church leaders have to abusive and destructive relationships. It's quite surprising to read all of the first hand accounts of abuse women have endured by not only their husbands but by church leaders and counselors who just didn't get it.

Leslie is currently writing another book that will hopefully shed some light on the subject if counselors and pastors will take the time to read. The Emotionally Destructive Marriage is scheduled to come out September 17th, 2013.


• The blog post "Dealing with a Self-Centered Spouse", in addition to giving a great link on some other blog posts on dealing with a self-centered spouse (which is what you inevitably have when pornography is involved)  takes a turn into the subject of church leadership when ladies started commenting. Read the blogs but be sure to read the comments.


• In "How Do I Approach My Church Leaders?" Leslie gives instructions for approaching church leadership for help in your destructive relationship. With detailed instructions under the topics of "Stop Pretending", "Document", and "Get Prepared", Leslie helps women in distress take healthy action.

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It's amazing what some of these women have endured at the hands of Shepherds and fellow Christians. I don't know what to do about it right now except be aware and get the word out in case any women are experiencing this sort of difficulty. When the book comes out, perhaps a great idea would be to give your pastor a copy of his own for the benefit of any women who might come to him needing help in this area.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, you are NOT ALONE!  And you are NOT CRAZY!!  There is help, and there are things you can do. Read and reach out.