Is Pornography Adultery?

This is an excellent article on the differences between men and women when it comes to defining intimacy. This explains why men generally don't understand how most women feel that their husband's pornography use is absolutely an adulterous act. It's a must read for every couple effected by pornography.

(Click the image or text to be directed over to the full article. )

""You cried with her?"  My wife appeared wounded, even a little threatened, when I described my conversation with a female employee...The simple question, “How are you?” opened a floodgate of tears as she described feelings of betrayal and despair because of her husband’s behavior. As she wept, I empathized with her pain and shed a few tears of my own. While I maintained strict physical boundaries with my coworker—I didn’t so much as pat her hand—my emotional response to another woman’s anguish triggered a protective instinct within my mate. 

Charissa is neither insecure nor suspicious by nature. In fact, she quickly caught herself and recognized that I had simply empathized with the suffering of another person. Nevertheless, her visceral reaction gave me a fleeting glimpse into the mystery of womanhood. And the resulting conversation with my wife became the first step on a journey of discovery in which I learned just how differently men and women experience marital intimacy. Along the way, I also discovered a profound truth that explains why wives consider a man’s viewing pornography nothing short of adultery . . . and why men think they’re overreacting."

Read the Full Article Here ...

Pornography: the Intimacy Killer

The look of shock on my friend's face when I told her that my husband and I would go months without sex was sobering. As I continued to think back through our marriage, I realized there were so many clues that pornography had invaded our lives and one of them was lack of intimacy. Now to muddy the water, we were intimate. And when we were, it was quite good. But there was always a reason why he would turn me down most of the time. There was something I wasn't doing right, it takes too long, he just doesn't need sex as much as I do, he's tired, or he didn't know I was trying to instigate. . . etc. 

There was also always a sense of being undesired. I could feel the void. I could see that it was missing in his eyes. It was something I could never have verbalized to anyone except by saying that there was "something missing." I never tried, though, because without any concrete examples, I would look a little paranoid or overly sensitive. And don't forget that other than the sadness I felt, I didn't know any better. So I lived on in this marriage feeling oddly undesired most of the time. 

So as I read more and talked to more counselors after finding out about my husband's pornography use, I slowly realized that I honestly didn't know what a normal sex life looks like. Pornography surprisingly decreases the natural desire a husband has toward his wife. It's just not there like it is for other men. 

Here is a link to a short video on the Covenant Eyes website along with an article. (You can also click the image below.) This couple shares what pornography did to the intimacy of their marriage. I am right there with them. Wives, your'e not alone.

Yes Pornography destroys, but God restores. 

The brain can be rewired by the One who created it. The heart can be made right by the One who created it. And God can redirect our desires. This video doesn't end on a great note, so I wanted to point out the good news that can be experienced when God does a work in people's lives.