Scripture Lullabies

I made an amazing discovery today. I was listening on the radio and Nancy Leigh DeMoss is offering a CD of gorgeous music for any size donation. They played a snippet of a song and I was taken back by its unusual beauty, and even more by the comfort the Word of God set to music gave me in just a few seconds. I had to have it - for those dark days when there is no relief. I want my son to fall asleep listening to them. I want to hum the music and meditate on the words to myself when I feel distressed. 




Visit Nancy's website to donate and request the CD (although right now, they say they're offering the CD in one place and a book by Joni with donations on the actual donation page, so I don't know what is up with that).



There are two volumes. I'm so glad to have found them that I want to pass it on to you.




Find the music: 
Hidden in My Heart (a lullaby journey through Scripture) Vol. 1 & 2

• Nancy's Website to donate for Vol. 2
• iTunes  Volume 1   &  Volume 2
• Watch More Youtube Videos

Youtube has a collection of the songs with a slideshow. Below is a song from the 1st volume. Enjoy.

Lifeline

On the days when I was falling apart, when I sobbed uncontrollably while changing a diaper, when I considered seeking the help of a mental health specialist, when things I found on the computer scared me more than any nightmare I could have ever imagined, when I woke up in the middle of the night with crying, chest pains, nausea, and shaking, when those I trusted to help me went soft on the issues, when I felt that speaking up would be betrayal, when I had no one else to talk to and no one else to get answers or direction from, these were the verses I prayed for myself. Every day. Many times a day. 

I wrote them on cards. Every chance I got, I pulled them out and prayed through them - cried through them. Desperate to get these gifts from the Lord. He heard, listened, and took me under His wings. 

For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

• •• Colossians 1:9-12 •• •

A friend told me recently that when her husband left her, she had to have a Bible laying out in every room of the house. That is being desperate for God and His presence - when you literally can't go a few minutes without a Word from Him. He satisfies even then, in the darkest places. Praise His Name!

Protection

But the Lord is faithful, 

and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

~ 2 Thessalonians 3:3 ~

It's Not You

No matter how many times I've heard, "it's not your fault", I still have to fight the battle within. My husband has even told me that it wasn't my fault, yet I hear from every cell of my body that I wasn't enough. But no wife can ever compete against pornography. You just can't. It's impossible.

The following is a grouping of quotes from a book I am reading now - Hope After Betrayal: Healing when sexual addiction invades your marriage by Meg Wilson. It's so helpful to hear from another wife. There is validation and truth here. Continue to speak the truth to yourself.


"I'll never forget walking into that support group.
There were thirty to forty women - and they were all beautiful! There simply is no connection between a wife's attractiveness and her husband's sexual addiction. Those who think otherwise don't understand how the addcition works....My husband's addiction was not about me. I wasn't there when it started. I didn't do anything to cause it. And I could not change it. Truth is a powerful healer." pg 37, 38

"Trying to make sense of addiction...is futile, because addiction is insanity. A man giving up his loving wife to be with himself or some stranger makes no sense. " pg 46

"Self-blame is one of the most subtle lies that our Enemy whispers in the darkness. Most of us betrayed wives have ended up trying to compete with "it", even when we weren't sure what "it" was." pg 48  (Can I get an AMEN up in here?  Some wives have no heads up that anything is amiss, but many wives like myself live for years knowing that they are fighting an unknown enemy. A counselor said to me recently, "in one way or another, you've been dealing with this for 9 years."  Yes, I have. And yes, you dear sister have also. Give yourself that validation. And now arm yourself with some real ammo.)

"Because I'd been living with an addict, certain patterns had been established in Dave's and my relationship...God can use disclosure to be the catalyst for looking for, recognizing and changing those patterns, and for ultimate healing. I need to be willing to let God show me my own part in the unhealthiness." pg 43

"No woman ever caused her husband's sexual addiction. Most men came to their wives already addicted. Nor is anyone completely innocent. We wives come into marriage with our own baggage. Both of these statements are true- and independent of each other. In our brokenness, we enable dysfunction to continue in our home by not recognizing or questioning unhealthy behaviors." pg 58

"Unlike man, God will never leave nor could He ever be unfaithful. Let Him hold you, heal your broken places, and guide your next step." pg 39

Hope After Betrayal: Healing when sexual addiction invades your marriage
Meg Wilson


This is the truth. I've read it so many places and heard it from so many counselors. It seems impossible to take it in, though. I'm trying to convey this to you and many times a day I realize how little I am taking this truth on, myself. 

Last week, I wrote in my journal, "I am overwhelmed by how much I hate myself."  And then by God's gentle love, I opened up Meg's book to this chapter and read these very words above that you have just read. It's crazy the effect that a husband hooked on porn has on his wife. It is not a victimless crime. BUT there is a Savior who, if we let Him, will show us how He sees us. In His eyes we are beautiful. He desires us and seeks after us the way that we long to be pursued. Jesus fills the void in my heart that my husband was never created to fill. Empty arms or not, Jesus is the only satisfaction that can be found.

Immanuel

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, 

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. 

~ Joshua 1:9 ~

He Hears

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous 
and His ears toward their cry...
When the righteous cry for help, 
the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.

~ Psalm 34: 15,17 ~

Delivered

I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.

~ Psalm 34:4 ~

His Comfort

As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.

~ Isaiah 66:13 ~