The look of shock on my friend's face when I told her that my husband and I would go months without sex was sobering. As I continued to think back through our marriage, I realized there were so many clues that pornography had invaded our lives and one of them was lack of intimacy. Now to muddy the water, we were intimate. And when we were, it was quite good. But there was always a reason why he would turn me down most of the time. There was something I wasn't doing right, it takes too long, he just doesn't need sex as much as I do, he's tired, or he didn't know I was trying to instigate. . . etc.
There was also always a sense of being undesired. I could feel the void. I could see that it was missing in his eyes. It was something I could never have verbalized to anyone except by saying that there was "something missing." I never tried, though, because without any concrete examples, I would look a little paranoid or overly sensitive. And don't forget that other than the sadness I felt, I didn't know any better. So I lived on in this marriage feeling oddly undesired most of the time.
So as I read more and talked to more counselors after finding out about my husband's pornography use, I slowly realized that I honestly didn't know what a normal sex life looks like. Pornography surprisingly decreases the natural desire a husband has toward his wife. It's just not there like it is for other men.
Here is a link to a short video on the Covenant Eyes website along with an article. (You can also click the image below.) This couple shares what pornography did to the intimacy of their marriage. I am right there with them. Wives, your'e not alone.
Yes Pornography destroys, but God restores.
The brain can be rewired by the One who created it. The heart can be made right by the One who created it. And God can redirect our desires. This video doesn't end on a great note, so I wanted to point out the good news that can be experienced when God does a work in people's lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment